Here’s a Political Christmas Carol I wrote for the 2016 Holiday Season (with all apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

’Twas the night before Christmas and all through Trump Tower,

Not a pollster was stirring, they’d been asleep for hours.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

in hopes that congress would soon repeal ObamaCare.

The transition team was nestled, all snug in their beds,

while visions of infighting danced in their heads.

Melania in her nightie and Trump in his “Make America Great Again” cap,

had just settled in for a post-election nap.

When out on the Avenue there arose such a clamor,

Trump startled out of bed and said “Put Hillary in the slammer!”

Away to the elevator he sprang like an orange flash,

Tore open the doors and grabbed a wad of cash!

The digital billboards on the new fallen snow,

Gave the lustre of midday, to Midtown, below.

When what to his squinty little eyes did appear,

But a miniature limousine and Paul Ryan, chugging beer.

With a perfectly coiffed driver, so lively and quick,

He’d know that practiced smile anywhere — it must be St. Mitt!

More rapid than earmarks, his cronies, they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

“On Mattis, on Palin, on Donner and Cupid,

Name me Secretary of State or you’ll surely look stupid!

To the top of the tower, to the top of the wall

Giuliani would be the biggest disaster of all!”

As the hairpiece that blows when he walks down the street,

Trump thought to himself, “I should send out a tweet!”

So up to the rooftop, his lackeys they flew.

With a sleigh full of tax cuts and the nuclear codes too.

And then, in a twinkling, Trump heard on the roof

The sounds of his secret service, dressed up, bulletproof.

As he drew in his head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney came St. Mitt with a bound!

He was dressed perfectly, from his head to his foot,

His clothes were all pressed, as he stepped out of the soot.

A bundle of cabinet picks he had flung on his back,

And out of the bag popped an exec from Goldman Sachs.”

His eyes-how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!

“Pick me,” he cried out, “Let’s not be adversaries!”

His droll little mouth drew up like a bow,

And smiled quite sheepishly as he nibbled on crow.

I’d appoint you today,” Trump said in his way,

“But I’m getting a lot of flak from KellyAnne Conway!

Breitbart and Fox would think I caved tonight.

I think I need someone a little more ‘alt-right.’”

Following Mitt came good old Mike Pence,

Who said, “Forget the wall, Donald, let’s put up a fence!”

Then with a turn he got straight to his work

And filled all the positions, but there were definitely some jerks.

Trump closed the door, with a shake of his head,

And settled back into his Sleep Number bed.

He fired off a tweet and into bed he did jump,

“Let’s forget what I said about draining the swamp!”