The Devil Called Down To Georgia

Jen Neumann
2 min readJan 4, 2021

The Devil called down to Georgia

He was lookin’ for some votes to steal

He was in a bind ’cause he was way behind

And he was willin’ to make a deal

When he came across this SOS

Sawin’ on a fiddle and playin’ it hot

And the Devil jumped on a conference call

And said, “Boy, let me tell you what”

“I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a Republican too

And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you

Now you play a pretty good vote, boy, but give the Devil his due

I’ll bet a medal of gold against your soul

Cause I’m better at math than you”

The boy said, “My name’s Raffensperger”

But I’ll take your bet, you’re gonna regret

’Cause I’ve got the data on my screen.’

Brad, boot up your PC and hit that calculator hard

’Cause Hell’s broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals the cards

And if you win, you get a medal of honor made of gold

But if you lose, the devil gets your soul

The Devil opened up his case and he said, “I’ll start this show”

And fire flew from his fingertips as pointed high and low

As he pulled in Mark and Cleta, the phone gave an evil hiss

And a band of demons joined in, and it sounded somethin’ like this

(Fiddle solo in dark, minor key)

When the Devil finished Raffensperger said,

“Well, you’re pretty good ol’ son

But sit down in that chair right there

And let me show you how it’s done”

“Fulton County’s counted”, run, boys, run

The Devil’s in the house of the risin’ sun

Dominion’s machines readouts say it ain’t so

Did you win this state bigly? No, child, no

(Amazing fiddle solo)

The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat

And he hung up the phone with a shake of his head and blasted out a tweet

Raffensperger said, “Devil, just come on back if you ever wanna try again

I done told you once, you son of a bitch

I’m the best that’s ever been” he played

Refrain:

“Fulton County’s counted”, run, boys, run

The Devil’s in the house of the risin’ sun

Dominion’s machines read outs say it ain’t so

Did you win this state bigly? No, child, no

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Jen Neumann

Marketer by day, purveyor of #alternativefacts for @crdaybreakrotary every Friday. #BottomoftheNews - Opinions are mine, but I hope they're yours too.